About the unpublished memoir
SWOLLEN APPETITE
“Legend had it that if you lived in San Francisco for too long, you’d lose your mind. I lived there from 1992 until 1997, and the legend came true. I found the right place at the right time to fall apart.”
SWOLLEN APPETITE spans the five years I spent as a young artist on the cusp of becoming in the fertile and gorgeously messed-up alt-music and comedy scenes of San Francisco. The perspective stays in the 90s, tucked between the dirty sheets of a burgeoning 90s musician who bounces out of bed at noon to prepare for her night shift at the music venue or comedy club.
There is a brief stint in the middle of the Odyssey where a friend and I tried to make a go of it in Nashville. I had connections in the music scene and got a job at the Blue Bird Café, but it ended after only three months. We dropped our first payment for the car we drove in the mailbox on our way out and hightailed it back to San Francisco.
I get sober towards the end of the story. I have shared my recovery story in short form for decades. To flesh out that exceptional time allows me to pay tribute to my struggle and to shine a light on the dim path so many of us travel.
An excerpt from the memoir was published in The Perch journal in April 2024 called Pick Up Your Bed and Walk.
SANDY’S DRUNK POETRY CORNER
I wrote poetry in the 90s. Late at night, I made mixed tapes after my shift at the Improv or the Warfield. Cool songs were layered with freshly written poems I’d recorded in one drunken take until the cassette was full. They’re wretched and I squirm when I hear them.
Trigger Warning: profanity, not sexy sex talk, slurring, bad puns, the word “upon,” and old damaged cassette transfers are part and parcel.