Telsa Problem

I have a Tesla problem. In April 2016, I bought 10 shares of Tesla stock for funsies at $239 a share. This was right after the Model X was manufactured, but I was more interested in their home battery storage units and thought that was a smart, efficient way to give homeowners a way to store solar energy. Seemed visionary and good for the environment, so why not play with a mere 2,400 bucks that wasn’t doing much in my retirement plan anyway?  

Those stocks eventually split, and 10 shares became 150 shares. Friday’s closing price was $355 a share. In less than 9 years, I’ve made $50K. That’s a big chunk of change. That could help us in retirement. But then, Musk became the unelected czar of the Quazi government efficiency department named DOGE, which turned the US Human Resource Department into a liquidation sale of civil workers. Even the Wall Street Journal questions his proximity to high-level clearance areas and sensitive data overreach due to mounting allegations of drug use, not to mention continual litigation. Forget that he no longer owns Tesla, although he is the biggest stockholder at 20%. Forget that he’s not Tesla’s CEO. The association of Musk and Telsa is forever intertwined

All of that, plus the Nazi salute he gave at the inauguration, scares me daily. 

Not that the brand, Telsa has been doing a good job of maintaining its reputation. The list of lawsuits, ranging from the lack of product safety back to when the battery was a fire hazard, and the driverless car killed two humans to the racist treatment of employees, is a mile long and involves China. But still, I am fascinated by the stock. Its daily rise and fall dazzles me. I put my finger on the sell button, and the stock falls. I get the jitters and walk away.

I spoke to some friends who know a lot about the stock market. I expressed my fear about market stability under public servant Trump, my moral obligation not to own a stock with such a reprehensible face, and what I should do to take care of my retirement portfolio. I heard, leave it alone. It’s like art; don’t start questioning the ethics of the maker. It’s a commodity, and money is money. Compartmentalize because if you look too closely at any stock, it’s stained by dirty practices. 

But if I sell it, there’s the godawful irony that I will have to pay more taxes on my gains than Musk pays on his. Way more. A friend reminded me that money represents security. Many of us think we'll be safe if we have enough. What is enough? No one earns a billion dollars.

The question remains: why haven’t I sold it? I feel shame for owning Telsa stock. The answer is I want the money. I want the money to grow and for there to be enough to take care of me and my husband in our old age. I want the dignity of having enough money to pay the rent and buy groceries after I no longer work because I will be old and have worked for a paycheck since I was thirteen.

Since I’m not ready to push the sell button, I’d love to hear how you handle your Telsa or morally questionable stocks.