Let go. Let them get ahead of you.
It’s been over a year since the release of Swollen Appetite, a memoir I wrote about becoming an artist in San Francisco in the 1990s and subsequently getting sober. What a long and weird year it was!
During and after the release date in early June, Brian’s mom was sick. Being available for my beloved Bev Mello was so much more important than promoting the book. Even so, we threw a helluva book launch party at The Ric in July, and I will always remember the musicians, friends and family that made that event hum on eight cylinders. And there was a super fun 90s karaoke party at The Melodee Lounge in El Cerrito. But then Bev died. I could no longer muster the chase, get excited about hawking and hustling. Instead, I hosted a peer blog, Who Did We Think We Were, where folks who’d read Swollen Appetite could submit stories inspired by the book’s themes. Most contributions were centered in 1990s San Francisco, in our collective creative cauldron of becoming. The writing and stories wowed me, and I hoped that it would revive interest in the memoir.
The Ric, July 12, 2025 Swollen Appetite Book Launch
But damn, this past year has not been a season of cultivating reach or glory. I’m grateful to all who’ve taken the time to read or listen to my book. I’m floored by everyone in the service of creating and performing, and the crowds you gather. Your beauty and substance have been a soft blanket to snuggle under the doom scroll that is 2026.
Even so, regardless, irregardless, or maybe because of the wildness in the last twelve months, I’ve changed. I’ve stopped chasing. The grip ambition has had on me all my life has finally loosened. “Let go, let them get ahead of you,” these lyrics by the songwriter, Amy Farris, are my mantra. I’m not disappointed or lacking. Far from it, I’m content to sit back and watch others succeed with or without me. With so many forces at play, there is also love and possibility, birds, steroids and ice cream.
All this to say, let’s hear it for Swollen Appetite! She is a fine little book, ready to be read or to gather dust. So glad I wrote her.
Hit me up for a promo code for the audiobook. I have several left. The paperback price has been lowered, and the e-book is free on Kindle.
Thank you for your attention to this matter. SANDRA A. MELLO
